It is becoming increasingly common for women in their later years to remain childless. The figures are striking; in the United Kingdom, 1 in 5 women born in 1969 is childless today, compared to 1 in 9 women born in 1942. The number of females opting not to have offspring has doubled in less than 30 years. Asking a woman why she doesn't have kids has already become taboo. US celebrities such as Tyra Banks and Chrissy Teagan have rigorously spoken out to educate people on what's okay to ask a woman and what's not. Asking a woman why she doesn't have kids is off limits. The middle aged childless couple or single woman is now normality and the trend is set to keep on growing.
So in the UK, around twenty percent of women are childless. Let's look at our European pals. In Italy and Switzerland, one in four women in their late 40s are childless. That's around twenty-five percent of women. In stark contrast, populous countries such as India, Turkey, Indonesia, Pakistan and South Africa, the women in their 40s remaining childless is as low as five percent! In the U.S., a study found the nineteen percent of women in their 40s and 50s are childless. And sorry guys, I couldn't find any statistics on the number of childless men out there.
How is this changing the face of our society? According to the British newspaper the dailymail, childlessness is affecting marital stability strains, the NHS, longevity and taxation. The number of people aged 65-74 without children to assist or care for them will double before the end of the next decade. This will allegedly have terrible implications on the social care system.
There is a growing counter-movement powered by the internet called "Childfree". After a little research, here is how the Childfree movement/ideology is defined: an adult who does not wish to have a child of their own. There are endless discussions online on Reddit tags about "voluntary childfreeness" and "social attitudes to remaining childfree". Hell, we are even adding new words to the dictionary, like childfreeness!
Something that pops up more frequently than not is the "selfish" issue. The argument is that the best way to make a selfless and kind contribution to the World is to raise a child. Philosopher David Benatar points out that at the heart of parents desire to raise children is often the self-centred desire to leave a legacy of their own, without any selfless motivations. He finds no difference between the altruism of a childfree person and a parent.
There is also the question of whether today, having children is such a positive contribution, with issues of overpopulation, hunger, global warming and depleting global resources. If you flip the coin though, critics argue that this stance may undermine the potential benefits of bringing children into the World, such as a larger workforce, the negatives of an aging population and a very real need for a non-zero birth rate.
Another argument is the legacy issue. Most parents believe that when you have kids, a part of you is left on Earth after you are gone. Childless people argue there are different types of legacies to be appreciated: such as art, poetry, science, books, discoveries and leadership, and these should be equally celebrated.
I can't help but feel sorry for the "childfree" people; not because they don't have kids (I'm not that arrogant), but rather because there actually so much stigma around their decision. It's one of the first questions, particularly women, get asked "do you have kids?"; and for the childless, the dreaded follow up question, "why not?". It's not so bad when you're in your twenties, but from your thirties upwards, expect this popping up weekly and if not daily. Luckily with one in five women opting not to have kids, there isn't a lack of people to sympathise with you and share coping tips with.
Some idols and pin-ups of the childless movement are people like Angela Merkel (age 61), "a woman with power and no children", Anna Jarvis, the nonmom and ironically founder of American Mother's Day, the actress Marissa Tomei (49), Sex in the City actress Kim Cattrall (59), Hollywood stars Jennifer Aniston (46) and Ellen DeGeneres (57), country superstar Dolly Parton (69) and Helen Mirren (70). The list is endless and the women on it are powerful and will clearly all leave a legacy when they pass, yes, and without having had kids.
Here is where I give my humble opinion and two cents on whether I want to be part of the childless movement, so skip this paragraph if you want. To me personally, it does feel like a natural instinct to have kids, especially after marriage. Not so much to strengthen the relationship with your partner, but more like to join forces and take the terrifying leap that could change your life forever, in order to share the gift of a child with each other but also to share the hard work and sacrifices it involves. And when I think about it, rather primitively, every single one of my ancestors before me has had kids, so why should It have to stop with me? Why should I put a full stop and end to it?
Whatever decision you make or whatever cards fate deals you, there will be stigma either way, but there is support out there on the glorious world wide web to tell you that whatever you choose, its alright.
Thanks for reading and please feel free to join the discussion in the comments section below.
Here are some websites on childfreeness:
www.thenotmon.com
www.childfree.net
www.childlessbychoiceproject.com
Tags: the rise of generation childless, millennial kids generation characteristics, childless by choice, millennial not getting married, trend in worldwide birth rates, what is childlessness
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